In this post, I share the importance of asking for help when you truly need it and providing assistance to others when you are able. There are teachers – helpers – everywhere, so utilize their expertise and advice. Then, pay it forward to help others.

I was so happy when navigation systems became standard equipment in most vehicles. Finally, I didn’t have to worry about getting lost and having to – heaven forbid – stop and ask someone for directions. Now, of course, I wonder how anyone ever arrived at their destination without the help of such modern technology.

People are often hesitant to ask for help. Whether they want to avoid looking vulnerable to others, can’t get past their desire to do everything by themselves, fear losing their self-esteem, or do not want to risk being turned down by others, the upside of receiving help when it is truly needed far outweighs any of the imagined risks.

Everyone can benefit from the wisdom, knowledge, experience, assistance, input, and support of other human beings. This applies to both personal and professional settings. Look around and you will find many different people ready and willing to lend a helping hand. To be clear, this is not about taking advantage of anyone or attempting to have others do your work for you. It’s about cooperation, teamwork, helping others and being open to receiving help yourself.

Once you come to terms with the fact that you can benefit from someone’s help, it is imperative that you are thoughtful in how you ask them for their input. Xuan Zhao, Ph.D., the lead author of a study published in Psychological Science in 2022, recommends making SMART – Specific, Meaningful, Action-oriented, Realistic, and Time-bound – requests.¹

When you are thoughtful and SMART, you and your advisor will both be able to focus on specific areas in need of support, as well as use your time wisely.

The English poet, John Donne, wrote long ago of the interconnectedness of humanity in his famous poem, No Man Is An Island. He effectively explained in wonderful language that each individual is part of the larger entirety of humanity. No one is truly alone, but part of the larger population where help is available and waiting.

Read, then, the words written by John Donne: “No man is an island, entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were. As well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were. Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore, never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”²

Take Dr. Zhao’s advice and heed John Donne’s words. Ask for help when you need it. And provide help when it is asked of you. Doing so moves everyone forward.

REMEMBER…

◊ It is more productive to ask for help than to remain discouraged by your challenge or situation. You do not have to face it alone. Sources of assistance include family, friends, colleagues, employers, educational and medical organizations, professional associations, community resources, and more.

◊ His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, said, “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”³ The Dutch painter, Vincent Van Gogh, said, “I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God’s help I shall succeed.”⁴

◊ This blog post is an excerpt from Dave’s upcoming book manuscript, Take This With You…100 Messages to Accompany You on Your Life Journey, that is currently being edited. Visit www.davidajolley.com for additional blog posts, other interesting content, and updates on future book releases and appearances.

1.  Xuan Zhao, PhD, et al, SMART, Study published in Psychological Science, © 2022. ↩︎
2. Donne, John, All Poetry, No Man Is an Island, https://allpoetry.com/No-man-is-an-island, © by owner; provided at no charge for educational purposes. ↩︎
3. Dalai Lama and Chan, Victor, The Wisdom of Forgiveness…Intimate Conversations and Journeys, © 2004, Berkley Publishing Group, Penguin Random House, NY, NY. ↩︎
4.  Van Gogh, Vincent, www.brainyquote.com/authors/vincent-van-gogh-quotes ↩︎